XYZ: hey

ME: im bored

XYZ:sounds very not interesting why u are not unbored,so what else

ME:nothing interesting!!!

XYZ:are u actually taking notes or u just faking it..man things are so very boring..need to find a new hobby!

ME:yeah

XYZ:tell me something i dunno about u !!?

ME: im a very cold person.

XYZ: i am very hot but thts something u already know!and i am very selfish,i do somethings for the sake of me..

ME: obviously im not totally selfless either!!

XYZ:no but i am more selfish than u think,i am very devious in my thoughts i play wid people like a game for my sick pleasure!

ME:isnt it terrific you know what you’re doing n still do it?what do u think about it,good or bad?

XYZ:good in the sense by me acting like this,i can get mad at someone and yell at them for no reason and get that off my chest and not hurt anyone..see if im obnoxious all the time i dont have to worry about people getting hurt!

XYZ:like i can completely curse off someone and actually mean but they dont get hurt cuz they think im just joking around!

ME:so its more like your making people accustomed to your behaviour.Your exploiting the vulnerability as much as u can becoz there is no resistance backwards??

XYZ:pretty much yeah but they dont know that!

ME:thats what i meant too

XYZ:kinda fucked up aint it??i act obnoxious cause i can get away with ..

ME: you are afraid of getting rid of it??

XYZ:do u want the brutal honest truth?

ME: yeah why not!??

XYZ k i think i’ve a group of friends because i get bored, other than that i have no need for friends..i have no relation to any of u..all of you grew up in a completely different environment from me..i will never understand how u people feel and the intensity of your emotions and u guys will never understand my feelings…i dont have anyone similar to me.

ME:that explains a lot!!

XYZ:for instance i hear things i dont give a shit about and pretend i care…honestly if someone is sad it doesnt concern me ,i ask if they’re ok just because the society is made up that way..if someone gets hurt i dont care unless its me..if someone is happy i dont care ,i simply piss people off because i can…….i only care about myself, i am the most important person i know,i dont care who does what or they did that, its all the stuff i listen to prevent myself from going insane in this place, its the show i play everyday,same script, just do what you have to do,i drink because im bored!!!!

ME: ok [ already dumb] but isnt it like you are trying hard to run away from something ?? may be the reality??/????

p.s : ionno what was going on in the convo except that im the one replying!!does it make any sense what xyz was talking?? or does it realli have to make some sense???

IM gonna leave to my med school in 10 more min
DUH!! itz gonna be wierd n happy at the same time leaving home n getting back to college n eggjams n all crap!!
i’ll miss babbling in my own space for quite sometime then!!:(
back to the ground actually not pavilion…shud start batting ,bouncing n whtnot!!!
LOoking forward to my Psychiatry postings!!! lol!!

i used to use blogger a while ago but then stopped n again felt like going bak:

flirting with randomness
so this is it

do visit it !!!
cheers!!
keep blogging !!

how painful would it be if some onez screwing a big size needle very hard in to your bone without anaesthesia?? u would probably scream your
lungs out ? everybody would!
but i was told to calm down a kid who was undergoing this very painful bone marrow infusion
!! it was indeed a herculean task to hold the kid
gosh! then i felt
why is something beneficial so painful like hell!
such a pain in the neck..med school sometimes!!

well everything does have a first time.. like me learning to inject a needle in to sumbody elsez flesh!!!

woah!!!i had mixed feelings when the doc told us that hez gonna show us what to do!! as always half attentive me- was day dreaming !! n then so comes my turn….i take the loaded thing in to my hands n hold it like a pen [[got screwed later for tht]…one cud see tht  omg !!! reaction on my face…i kept peeking at the doc’s   face but hez no way concerned about my feelings…

vice-versa too…. so i just look at the focussed part ignoring the baby’s face n frightening noises..n proceeded!!! oooopss!!! i just went in !!! whoa!!!!

SUCCESSs!!!! indeed!!!

but then i was’nt happy or sad after that for heaven’s sake!!!